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Money Corrupted the Soul by Charmed-Ravenclaw Money Corrupted the Soul by Charmed-Ravenclaw
Available on Red Bubble! www.redbubble.com/people/charm…

So, this is a remake of a very old deviation of mine I made when I was 16 fav.me/dux0vu, altered after some constructive... opinion :) So far I'm the proudest of this one of my typography designs :)

Made in Adobe Illustrator using the text and various other tools. Mainly this tutorial: vector.tutsplus.com/tutorials/…

:iconcritique-it:

I wouldn't mind some more constructive criticism, on:
:bulletgreen: The colours chosen
:bulletgreen: My attempt at making gears out of words and
:bulletgreen: The attempt at an x-ray effect.

My other entries you can constructively critique or vote up, you choice, include:
The Time For Wit charmed-ravenclaw.deviantart.c…
Who Needs Talent? charmed-ravenclaw.deviantart.c…
I Hate Statistics charmed-ravenclaw.deviantart.c…
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:iconliliwrites:
LiliWrites Featured By Owner May 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is really neat! I can't offer much in the way of feedback except to say that I'd prefer to see the "Analysis...Leaving Behind A Machine" font in solid letters instead of outlines. It's simply easier to read that way. But otherwise, I think *xlntwtch said all that needs saying. :D Good job!
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Made an attempt to improve it here: [link] Could you please tell me what you think of it?
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah ok then. Thanks for your thoughts!
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:iconricky4:
ricky4 Featured By Owner May 16, 2012
This is an awesome concept and so true today! :aww: Great design btw! :nod:
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much!
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:iconricky4:
ricky4 Featured By Owner May 19, 2012
Most welcome! :cuddle:
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:iconfyviane:
Fyviane Featured By Owner May 14, 2012   General Artist
i would wear this! :D
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
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:iconmanar1:
manar1 Featured By Owner May 13, 2012
i like this one :D nice design :D good luck
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
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:iconmanar1:
manar1 Featured By Owner May 14, 2012
welcome :D
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:iconran-zu:
Ran-Zu Featured By Owner May 13, 2012   Digital Artist
This is a nice design :)
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconran-zu:
Ran-Zu Featured By Owner May 14, 2012   Digital Artist
Your welcome ^^
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner May 13, 2012   Writer
:iconcritique-it:

"Money Corrupted the Soul" by ~Charmed-Ravenclaw

A t-shirt made for "deviantWEAR Design Battles / Original Quotes Challenge"

Critique:

:bulletgreen: I like the colors chosen, in particular the blue on black for the words "Analysis...Leaving Behind A Machine." The font used, the way these words stand out on the black and how they're outlined make a bold statement, just as intended. The ellipsis used is great. It draws a viewer's eye immediately to the completion of the quote. Good job! "I'd wear it."

:bulletgreen: The attempt to make gears out of words is almost perfect. My preference would be to make the first gear, the one with the large "S" in it, more realistic, more like the others by making that "S" smaller. Gears have small parts and the "S" nearly defeats that first gear. The way the gears are set into each other is good. That's how gears work. I wonder if a small fifth gear might be a good idea. Sometimes an even number of items in artwork can make it a bit less interesting. I hope that's clear to you. If a small fifth gear, even a repetition of words already used- I'd suggest "money" -was here, I think the gears would look more realistic.

:bulletgreen: The x-ray effect was, I'm afraid, lost on me. I didn't "get that" until I read your comments. I think perhaps more shadows there would make that part look more like an x-ray. X-rays are always full of nebulous shadows, even with the quote and focus is the main part. A few more shadows of -well, something to do with the quote would work in shadows- would make it look very much more like an x-ray. Shadows, shadows...just a few shadows there and you've got a wnner.

Thanks for a great look at another entry for deviantWEAR. I've looked at many and am pleased to see this.
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ah ok then thank you for your critique! I've been waiting forever to get a critique on one of my shirts :P

The "Money" one was supposed to be kind of different - shaped like a coin rather than a gear that had jammed up the system. Maybe adding another gear to the system would make it more apparent.

Ah Ok then. I'm trying to make the colours as simplified as possible with the shading - it's advised that up to 7 colours are used. But I think I can make the x-ray effect more apparent. Thank you!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner May 14, 2012   Writer
It's sometimes difficult to get a critique from a club where you're an Admin. That's true. ;)

I see...and realized the "money one" wasn't an "S" but a dollar sign (well after I put up the crit, of course :P).
I still think maybe another small "geary-gear" (lol) would help the look of machinery.

You're very welcome.
I'm glad you understand about the "x-ray effect." A lot of folks might not have. :)
Reply
:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ok, made an attempt to improve on some of your suggestions here: [link] Could you please tell me what you think of it?
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012   Writer
Just went there and left a comment :)
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks :)
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2012   Writer
You're very welcome.
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah. Maybe people are intimidated by me now? Or maybe they assume I should know what's best for my deviation :P

I just have to figure out what word to make the gear out of :P It wouldn't quite fit if it isn't a word now...
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner May 15, 2012   Writer
It's happened to me before, when I was more obviously an Admin. ^^

Possible words you might use (without the question marks) =

Money? Dollar(s)? Cent(s)? Sense? Soul? Machinery? and more...
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 17, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ooh, I like Sense and Cents.... Thanks for the ideas :D
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner May 17, 2012   Writer
Haha. You're very welcome. :D
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:icondjpimpslap22:
djpimpslap22 Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
awesome shirt i wanna wear that!
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you!
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:icondjpimpslap22:
djpimpslap22 Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
your welcome!
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:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Cool design! I'd wear this. B-)
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:iconcharmed-ravenclaw:
Charmed-Ravenclaw Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice! Thank you :)
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